Friday, May 11, 2018

i feel gritty in my throat

Assalamualaikum

Hi blog! long time no see. I just bought a new laptop hence i can now blog with ease.

well, actually today an epic history took place in my country malaysia. i have a very mixed feelings which i dont think is proper to vent it in social media as majority of malaysians are celebrating their victory today. but here i am, kind of mourning. but i have to respect those who r celebrating. so i was gloomy all day kind of hard to express my real feeling.

Today after 60 years of ruling, Barisan Nasional has been toppled down by the opposition, Pakatan Harapan. Oh well that is not what i am mourning for today. That was anticipated by most if not all malaysians. To topple down a corrupt government through democracy was a huge success for the people and the democracy system. I was happy!

but in return we have to pay a very big price for it which is our religion, Islam. this was bugging me the whole day. ok i am gonna proceed in malay.


Hari ini hari bersejarah negaraku, Aku gembira. Sungguh, tak tipu! aku turun mengundi dan aku tolak kerajaan yang sedia ada so mestilah aku happy.

Tapi lepas tu? Apa yang bakal terjadi

***
Aku pergi masjid negeri. Sedang aku duduk berteleku, azan asar berkumandang, Sayu. Sungguh sayu azan yang dilaungkan. dan dada aku jadi sesak tiba-tiba, Aku menangis. Ya Allah apa nasib agamamu di tanah ini, apa nasib umatmu, apa nasib anak cucu cicitku. Air mata hangat mengalir membasahi pipi. usai solat asar, aku melangkah keluar masjid sambil mendukung anak keduaku, Tunggu encik suami. Tiba-tiba tak semena-mena airmataku mengalir lagi, lebih laju,

ya Allah ampunkan aku kalau khilafku menyebabkan agamamu terasing di bumi sendiri.

Aku menangis sendiri tidak ku tahu dengan siapa aku harus berkongsi rasa, kerana untuk kebanyakan orang, ini berita paling gembira,

aku pandang suamiku, tak terluah.

***
ini bukan paranoid tak berasas.

takutkan musuh? tidak sekali!

ini rasa hati yang risau akan kedaulatan Islam dan survival umat. sejarah membuktikan musuh tak pernah berhenti memusuhi kita. ini bukan musuh dalam selimut. ini musuh yang secara nyata mencabar kemuliaan islam tanpa segan silu lagi.

***

tuntutan kalimah Allah
tuntutan comango
RUU355
isu pesta arak
isu murtad
isu LGBT
isu kebebasan bersuara, hak asasi manusia
isu penjualan tanah kepada pihak asing
isu pluralisme
isu liberalisme
isu kristianisasi
isu syiah

dan banyak lagi. semua ini dimainkan oleh pihak musuh tapi kita umat islam yang terjerat, menjadi apologetik dan pondan untuk menegakkan kebenaran,

bacalah semua isu ini dengan minda dan hati yang terbuka, baca dan teliti satu-satu. ternyata ini bukan kebetulan tapi dirancang musuh islam. mereka yang main sentimen dan cetuskan provokasi dan bila kita cuba bersuara lantang untuk mempertahankan agama, kita yang dituduh ekstremis, kita yang dituduh racist, kita yang dituduh memainkan sentimen. Allahu...

****
carilah kebenaran, mintalah petunjuk.

***
barisan kepimpinan baru ini menampilkan tokoh-tokoh taghut yang hebat, Aku doakan supaya pemimpin islam yang berada di kerusi parlimen dan dun ini cukup lantang untuk mempertahankan agama. Jangan gadai agama! Jangan gadai agama! Jangan sesekali! besar mandat yang diberi umat kepadamu. jangan kau khianati. jangan kerana menangih undi, menagih kemenangan kerusi, kalian jadi bacul dan pondan. jangan kerana mahu menjaga hubungan politik dalam pakatan, kalian cairkan segala prinsip islam yang kalian jaja dalam usrah2.

***

dan aku sebagai marhaen yang sayangkan agama, menerima keputusan pilihanraya kali ini dengan penuh keinsafan agar terus berada dalam gerabak dakwah ini, semoga Allah kuatkan aku. semoga aku berada dalam golongan yang menang di sisi Allah. kerja menjadi semakin sukar dan banyak tapi mungkin ini hanya gerhana, mentari kan muncul semula.

aku pujuk diri sendiri mungkin jalan-jalan kemenangan islam akan terbuka luas selepas ini. kebenaran akan tersingkap satu persatu. tsabatkan aku di jalan ini ya Allah.

***

mereka mungkin mentertawakan kita, memperkecilkan kita. maafkanlah kerana mereka tidak tahu. atau mereka tidak mahu tahu dek masih terhijab dengan dunia. kita terus berhikmah dan berlembut dengan mereka. mudah-mudahan terbuka hati mereka untuk menerima kebenaran. santunilah mereka. bukan mereka yang kita musuhi bahkan merekalah mad'u kita,

***

kita golongan paling asing di mata mereka. mereka takkan faham perasaan kita menerima berita 'kemenangan' ini. suara kita mungkin ditekan. kedudukan kita mungkin dicabar. tapi yakinlah bila kita dibenci musuh Allah, kita berada di jalan yang benar.

***

aku pandang anak-anakku. ya Allah berikanlah mereka kefahaman agama yang sebenar, jadikan mereka dalam golongan yang benar,



Monday, March 2, 2015

Kenapa warna susu berbeza?


Susu ibu tak seperti susu formula. Susu ibu hidup. Ia dibekalkan mengikut keperluan bayi. 


Contohnya susu untuk bayi pramatang lebih kekuningan dan tinggi lemak untuk membantu bayi pramatang membesar dengan lebih cepat.


Pada cuaca panas pula, susu ibu lazimnya tinggi kandungan air maka lebih cair sifatnya supaya mengelakkan dehidrasi kepada bayi.


Terdapat juga susu yang berwarna "pinkish" kerana bercampur dengan darah daripada puting yang luka. 


Susu di awal kelahiran dipanggil kolostrum. Ia sangat pekat, sedikit likat, dan berwarna kuning pekat. Pada peringkat ini ia mempunyai kandungan antibodi yang tinggi untuk melindungi bayi yang baru lahir daripada serangan penyakit.


Susu ibu juga terbahagi kepada 2 peringkat. Susu awal dan susu akhir. Susu awal ialah susu yang baru keluar. Lazimnya susu ini tinggi gula dan kurang kalori. Warnanya cair kebiruan. 


Susu akhir pula tinggi kalori dan lemak. Dan warnanya putih pekat berkrim. Sekiranya bayi anda minum terlalu banyak susu awal, najisnya akan berwarna hijau dan kebiasaannya bayi ini menunjukkan pertambahan berat badan yg kurang.



Sumber: breastfeedingbasics

Berminat untuk menambah khasiat dan kualiti susu anda? Hubungi saya. Free consultation us available :)


Stok susu cair?

*panic mode*

Rasa nak terjun gaung bila malam tadi buka freezer dan tengok-tengok semua stok ebm saya dah cair!!!!

Rasa frust menonggent. Bersusah payah saya pam susu buat stok dalam freezer lepas tu cair semua serentak! Tapi teringat sabda nabi orang islam ini ajaib, ditimpa musibah pun dia cakap alhamdulillah dan bersyukur. So dhuha...bertenang..bertenang..and say alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah. Pasti ada hikmah semua ni. Lalu saya pn cepat2 google cari jalan penyelesaiannya. Rupanya susu yg cair tu boleh bagi minum dalam masa 2-3 hari sebab dia duduk dalam kawasan yang sejuk dan dikelilingi ais.

Oh meh saya cerita pasal freezer saya tu. Freezer tu ialah sejenis deep freezer yang berpintu, iaitu upright freezer yang ade drawer tu. Pastu masa kejadian berlaku ais penuh kat sekeliling termasuk pintu sampai semua drawer tu tak boleh nak bukak. Tp susu semua cair, nak selamatkan xdapat pulak sebab drawer takleh bukak. So saya off freezer untuk 1 malam supaya ais-ais kental tu mencair. 

Maka saya assume suasana freezer yg masih berais kental tu masih mampu memelihara susu saya daripada serangan bakteria. Pagi ni drawer dah boleh buka so semua susu saya pindahkan ke fridge dan akan dihabiskan Hariz sepanjang hari. Kalau x habis terpaksalah buang.wuuu what to do

Saya tak berani nak bagi hariz consume susu tu sampai esok lusa sebab saya tak pasti berapa lama dah stok susu tu cair. So sad..sejak jadiibu ni i mmg literally cry over spilled milk. Now i cried over melted frozen milk. Let it goooooo let it goooooo

Tapi macam saya kata mesti ade hikmahnya. Mungkin susu tu memang dah xberkhasiat utk hariz. Mungkin memang bukan rezeki hariz. 

Disebabkan peristiwa malang tu, maka hariz kena habiskan ebm hari dan saya mestilah kena pam. Sekian lama x pam susu sebab dah jadi surirumah kan..lepas tu last week masa balik nilai, breastpump saya rosak. Tiba2 suction dia slow sangat walaupun dah tekan yang maximum. Sebelum tu langsung x rasa suction sebab ada silicone bead tersekat di tube opening. So hari ni desperate nak pam susu maka try la guna pam tu balik. Suddenly ade bunyi pelik clink clank klik klik klik..ececehh berusaha betul nak tiru bunyi tu

Laaa ade satu lg silicone bead tersekat dalam tube opening tu rupanya..aiseh..actually saya simpan beastpump dalam beg dia yg ade byk silicone beads. Lain kali nak simpan breastpump make sure xde benda-benda kecik2 ni

Nak set menyusu Shaklee yang awesome?

Please contact me :)



Monday, February 16, 2015

Babai excess weight!

Konversasi semasa di usrah

"Anak kakak naqibah ni berapa bulan." Kata cik A sambil main-main dengan Hariz. Saya bukanlah kakak naqibah tersebut

"Ni anak akak la haha" saya buat pengakuan jujur sangat2 dari hati. 

"Haaa akak dah kahwin ke?" Kwis kwis kwis.. Ye dik. Akak dah beranak pun. Umur akak 27 tahun. 

Alhamdulillah Allah bagi saya tubuh yang kecil dan petite. Orang selalu ingat saya ni budak2. Huhu..apalah pandangan masyarakat ye masa saya bawa perut yang memboyot dulu? Huhu

Untuk pengetahuan, saya jenis yang metabolisma tinggi. Kuat makan tapi susah nak naik berat badan. Keturunan kot. Namun semasa di nz buat pertama kalinya berat naik sampai 2kg tapi saya tak paniklah. Itu berat yang ideal pun untuk saya. Semasa pregnant saya gain 11kg. Panik takut berat susah nak turun. Setelah bersalin, berat saya turun 5kg. A month later turun 2 kg. Dan sekarang alhamdulillah saya ade lagi 1kg untuk dapatkan balik berat badan sebelum mengandung. Tak turun pun takpe kot supaya orang tak ingat saya ni budak2 sangat.

So how did i do it? I did it like a real woman. Haha

1. Berpantang betul2. Makan je lauk berpantang yang boring yang mak masak. Tak payah nak demand2 kfc piza nandos yada yada..
2. Makan jamu untuk kecutkan rahim. Saya minum teh herba tanamera dan ade jgkla pil jamu yang bidan bagi. Tapi stop bila bacaan jaundis hariz naik dengan tingginya
3. Barut jangan tinggal. Saya pakai at least 8 jam sehari
4. Berurut dan sapu minyak/losyen panas
5. Pakai korset. Yang ni saya pakai di akhir pantang sampailah sekarang, hari ke 81.at least 8jamsehari jugak.sebab nak jaga korset maka saya x sapu apa2 la di perut
6. Senaman. Haha..saya tak beranilah nk buat core exercise sebab semasa pregnant saya alami diastesis recti iaitu otot perut terpisah akibat pengembangan rahim. Senaman saya ialah buat kerja2 rumah sambil menggendong Hariz-that is babywearing.*peace!!*
7. Menyusukan anak. Penting ni ok! Rahim cepat kecut dan beratus-ratus kalori terbakar.
8. Makan supplement untuk topup zat2 yang kurang. Jaga baby dan rumah sorang2 sering buat saya tak dapat nak masak dan makan proper meals.Saya makan habbatus sauda dan set penyusuan shaklee

In a nutshell its a joined effects altogether. Tak tau nak pinpoint yang mana satu betul2 menurunkan berat badan. Saya jaga makan jugak sebab nak bf baby tapi dari segi kuantiti saya tak kontrol sebab nak menyusu memang kena makan banyak. Cuma bila ambil ESP shaklee, saya cepat kenyang maka kekerapan makan kurangla iaitu saya jarang snacking in between meals. Kalau dulu memang asyik nak mengunyah je sebab setiap kali lepas menyusu rasa lapar gila2 dan dahaga gila2..oh yes, drink a lot of water also helps to reduce weight :)


Wahwah tak sangka dalam sehari bolehpublish 2 entries! Till the next post! Assalamualaikum

Sunday, February 15, 2015

My breastfeeding story: susu oh susu!

Salam!

Remember i promise to write an entry regarding my ups and downs in breastfeeding? Alhamdulillah i have been doing that for almost 3 months now. Still a long way to go but i almost reach my small goal which is to fully breastfeed for 3 months. Next goal: 6 months! (They say u have to set small goals to reach a bigger one. When u complete one after another small goals u will be motivated to reach a bigger one. So dats what im doing now. Of course i am aiming for 2 yrs full breastfeeding with Hariz)

Ok to make my job easier here are the shortforms i'll use in this entry
1. Bf = breastfeeding
2. Ebm= expressed breast milk
3. Fm= formula milk

Menjadi emak2 membuat glosari shortformku semakin bertambah. Eh. Tiba2 berbahasa melayu. Baiklah saya akan merojakkan bahasa,minta maaf sangat2.

Ceritanya begini. Eh. Tiba2 nak bercerita pula. Ekskius me, nama tajuk pun "breastfeeding story". Tolong peka okeh.

Baiklah, ceritanya begini. Semenjak dapat tahu saya pregnant pada bulan april tahun lepas, perkara pertama yang saya teruja selain perkembangan baby ialah breastfeeding. Benda pertama yang dibeli ialah breast pump. Baju baby barang baby semua tu dibeli a few weeks before bersalin, di trimester terakhir. In fact, baby cot dibeli a day after bersalin kwis kwis kwis...

Namun kesemangatan saya dalam penyusuan anak ini langsung tidak mendorong saya untuk menggali ilmu tentang penyusuan bayi. Pada saya, breastfeeding is something yang natural. Saya fikir ala lahir2 je baby nanti terus keluar susu mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum. Saya tak fikir akan ada masalah susu tak cukup la, bengkak susu la dan lain2. I thought breastfeeding is going to be easy padahal ada harimau sedang menunggu di dalam gaung. Apakah? wujud ke peribahasa ni?

Maka kejahilan saya dalam bidang penyusuan itu akhirnya memakan diri dan memakan anakku jua. Baby lahir2 je kena warded sebab nk finish antibiotic treatment. Masa kt wad nurse dh bg formula milk (fm)..husband sy suruh pump susu utk bg kt baby masa dlm wad tapi sy tak bawak pam ke hospital dan terlampau penat masa tu. Bila jumpa anak kat wad dan tengok mulut dia comot susu formula yg meleleh saya rasa envy. Dalam hati berkata "susu siapakah itu?! Berani lembu susukan anak saya?!" Barulah terbit penyesalan kenapalah tak pam susu. Eh by the way masa lepas bersalin tu terus start breastfeeding so saya harap adalah khasiat kolostrum yang diserap oleh hariz. Saya cuba susukan hariz masa dkt wad baby tp saya malu2 sebab mak2 kat situ mcm dah pro je boleh duduk2 sandar2 tengok tv. Saya pulak struggle dengan baby yang menangis macam tak suka nak menyusu. Dia lagi suka tido sebab fm telah mengenyangkannya. Saya hanyalah menganggu kesedapan tidur beliau. Itulah paradigma saya ketika itu.

Hari kedua pegi wad baby untuk cuba breastfeed lagi namun gagal. Dia dah lupa agaknya cara2 nak menyusu. Asal saya pegi wad je dia sedang tidur kekenyangan dengan sisa susu meleleh di pinggiran bibir. Malam itu hariz boleh discharge lalu kami bawa dia pulang. Dia menangis je sepanjang jalan. Dah sampai rumah senyap kejap lepas tu nangis lagi. Dengan bantuan mak dan enda, hariz bwrjaya ditenangkan dan saya diajar cara menyusu. Sambil tu mereka suruh hubby beli susu formula untuk standby. Dengar fm je saya rasa berdebar dah. Malam tu tak boleh tidur langsung sebab hariz menangis macam tak puas menyusu. Esok pagi mak suruh bagi fm. Jeles tengok fm tu berjaya tenangkan hariz. Dia tido berejam lamanya! Saya rasa relakslah lepas tu sebab boleh qadha tidur. Tak terfikir nak kena pam susu untuk banyakkan susu. Saya breastfeed bila hariz terjaga je lepas tu bila dia meragam mak akan topup fm. Esoknya saya mengalami bengkak susu. Yelah, tak pam susu pastu breastfeed jarang2. Macam nak demam rasanya masa bengkak susu tu.


Hari keempat hariz punya bacaan kuning meningkat. Nurse tak kasi saya bg baby fm. Dia suruh saya continue bf. sejak itulah fm tidak pernah lagi diberi kepada hariz. Walaupun dia kerap menangis, saya gagahkan jugak breastfeed almost setiap jam. Stress masa tu sebab baby asyik nak menyusu je. Tp sebab dia ada jaundis maka dia tidur lama jugak kdg2 tu dan masa dia tidur tu saya pun tidur jugak. Memang tak terfikir nak pam. Encik suami berkali-kali ingatkan saya suruh saya pam. Itulah padahnya derhaka cakap suami kan sampai sekarang tak cukup stok *nangis tak berlagu*

Hari kesembilan balik berpantang di rumah mak saya di nilai. Ni memang mencabar la. Hariz kan kuat menyusu. Kuat meragam juga. Mak asyik suruh bagi fm je. Opah pula suruh bagi minum air. Makcik2 juga sarankan bg fm dan air. Stress sungguh masa tu. Rasa stress itulah yang mendorong saya baca banyak2 pasal breastfeeding di internet. Barulah tau macam2. Barulah nk rajin pam itu pun tak rajin sangat sebab rumah 2 tingkat. Leceh pula nak naik turun tangga dengan keadaan masih berpantang. Kedegilan saya menyebabkan saya masih kekal tidak bg fm kepada hariz. Sudah tentulah terima kasih Allah sebab bagi saya kedegilan ini dan sebab bagi saya kekuatan dan kesabaran.

Habis je pantang, saya balik bersama suami ke rumah kami ganu kite. Best sangat masa ni i have freedom to breastfeed n stock up my ebm. Takde kata2 sinis mahupun aura negatif. Namun mencabar jugak nak kumpul stok sebab hariz nak menyusu sokmo. Namun kugagahi jua. Ade lagi sebulan lebih sebelum nak masuk kerja. Masa ni saya rajin google pasal milkbooster. Macam2 milkbooster la saya try. Tak pasal2 air halba yang pahit tu kutelan jua. Banyak belajar teknik pam susu juga. Tp stok sikit jugak dapat. Tinggal 3 minggu lagi nak masuk kerja. Gue udah panik. Buat kira2 macam tak cukup je stok ni. Padan muka sebab jahil sangat masa dalam pantang. Akhirnya berkeputusan untuk extend cuti dengan mengambil cuti jaga anak. Kalau kerja, kena travel jauh ke besut pastu nanti stress pastu nanti susu merudum. Tak mau tak mau, Sgt komited ni nak exclusive bf sampai 6 bln walhal dah xdikira exclusive lg dhuha sebab kau sudah bagi fm awal2 dulu tapi tak kira, saya tak akan bagi fm lagi sekali at least utk 6 bulan ni.

Bila dah amik cuti ni mulalah nak mengelat pam susu hoheh. Tak boleh tak boleh sebab hubby dah belikan upright freezer untuk saya buat stok ebm. Mesti pam jugak untuk masa depan yang tidak pasti lg macam mana. 

Masa tengah desperate nak kumpul stok tu saya pun belilah set penyusuan shaklee. Tapi lepas tu saya amik cuti jaga anak dan tak pam susu. So saya tak tahu meningkat ke tak susu saya haha tapi yang pasti saya lebih bertenaga untuk susukan hariz sambil menguruskan rumah dan suami. Penat hokkay menyusu ni. Berkalori2 hilang. Saya rasa volume susu juga meningkat sebab lepas try set tersebut bunyi hariz telan susu makin kuat gulp gulp bunyi dia haha. Nantilah bila saya start pam susu balik, saya akan update perkembangannya. Nak bagi testimonial harus jujur ok. Kalau x tahu cakap tak tahu. Tak berkesan, cakap je tak berkesan.

Apa pun, asalkan baby naik berat badan, membuang air besar dan kecil setiap hari, maksudnya cukuplah susu tu insyaAllah. Saya memang paling hepi nak salin diaper anak yang penuh hehe. Hasil susu mummy tu mestilah happy ^_^

P/s: saya masih belajar lagi bab breastfeeding ni. Not an expert ok tapi berbekalkan pengalaman yang seciput ni harapnya dapat tolong motivate org lain. Rasa nak ambil sijil kepakaran breastfeeding pula eheh..

P/s lagi: sorry takde gambar. I tulis laju2 je ni. Nikmatilah tulisanku.

Oklah up next:

~ another 1kg to reach my pre-pregnancy weight! Apakah rahsianya? Hehe
~ babywearing? Apa tu?
~ attachment parenting. Hmmm mak2 sangat dah kau ni dhuha

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

I am a mother!

Assalamualaikum!

Remember my last post? It was about a year ago. And it was just an update on my latest status as a wife. That was all i wrote in 2014 haha. Then this website became a site filled with spider webs (afterall it is a WEBSITE)

And now i am writing to update my current status! I'm a mother now can you believe that? My left hand is rocking my baby to sleep and my right hand is typing for this long abandoned blog. My husband said i should start writing again. I can start off with something rubbish and boring like this and then slowly reaching my old standard or even better.

Since i am still in my long holiday and waiting for my extended leave to get approved so yeah writing is what i should fill my time with.

So far i am getting better at handling baby. So much exciting things to learn and so many interesting experiences. When i told my mom that i am extending my maternity leave, my mom told me not to stay in maternity leave forever. Haha.. Well i am inclined to that mind you. It is hard hard for me to juggle between roles. It is even harder when i work 90km from home. I better not start whining on that because it will bring us nowhere hihi

I havent write for so long and i dont know where to start. Please excuse my broken language too. And if my writing is too complicated for you please leave this site ASAP. I am not going to be responsible for god-knows-what might come to you.

All right lets get back to bussiness which is not even a bussiness hoheh

I gave birth to my little son on the 24th of November 2014. Well November is officially called Lovember for me because it is a month full of love. It is a month of our anniversary, my hubby's birthday and my dear son's birthday. Back to my story, my son was born 2.5kg  on Monday, at 9.35 am (the time i was born as well- waktu dhuha). It was a normal delivery, but on induction. Because i started leaking liquor about 3 days before delivery. So i was induced once. Was about to get induced for the 2nd time when the doctor found that my cervix has opened 3cm and my liquor was gushing out like crazy upon vaginal examination. 3 hours later i was sent to the labour room with cervix opening around 6 cm and an hour and a half later i gave birth to a cute little baby. Alhamdulillah the pain was not long for me and i had my husband and my senior in the labor room, conducting my delivery.

So right after delivery my baby had to be sent to neonatal ward for further assessment and to complete his   antibiotic course. Because i had a leakage prior to delivery, my baby might get some infections inside the womb so he was given antibiotic through me. A day later he was discharged and we brought him home. Beforehand, i had my first sesi berurut bertungku semua tu. I really enjoyed the pampering i had on my body hehe.. The first night when my baby came home, he cried throughout the night. I had no sleep at all phew..i thought my breastmilk might not be enough so he cried out of hunger. Little that i know that his stomach was actually too small and needed frequent feeding. Due to my lack of knowledge, i agreed to my mom to give him formula milk *reluctantly*...insyaAllah i'll write more on breastfeeding in the next entry. Its a pretty long story haha

I stayed in terengganu with my hubby n my mom for 9 days and then we flew to nilai, my hometown. We went back to KT after my confinement period ended. It was tough at first to live with the baby without my mom's help. But i coped well alhamdulillah. We named our son Hariz. Yup Hariz je. So i wont waste my time writing his name in the future haha and afterall we tend to call for short name kan..

Hariz is going to be 3 months old in less than 2 weeks. And i have left my old self for almost 3 months jugak. I can say that i have lost myself, i have no me-time, i am a new person. Haha mcm scary je kn. i miss going to spa, shopping n dating with husband but at the moment memang kena lupakan keinginan2 itu. I even sacrificed my half year job performance by extending my maternity leave just to put my 100% commitment into my new little family. I also started talking in weird language and thinking in different wavelength besides having new interest in parenting and baby stuff. I'll write more about those things. Stay tuned heheh.. 

Oh man..It took hours for me to finish this entry because i had to entertain hariz in the middle. Till the next post
    
                                     Thats me multitasking. And thats my new workstation :p

Friday, January 3, 2014

its all about the money

Assalamualaikum!

So its been aaaaages since my last post ay?
Its already 2014 and I am already married. See, i told you, its been ages :)

A little update about me, I have finished my hospital posting and now I am posted to Besut for my primary care posting. I am married for 48 days (and I lost my wedding ring on day 41 of marriage). I live with my husband in Kuala Terengganu on weekends and live on my own during weekdays in Besut (so I am an amphibia?) I have a new profession now. I am a housewife eventhough I'm working. Part-time housewife i would say? But on weekends, I'm a full-time housewife. Yayy a dream came true :)..the weather in Kuala Terengganu is very good today. Officially end of monsoon season. So selaku suri rumah, sangat mengujakan untuk basuh baju dan sidai baju.

I'm loving my life right now. Still juggling in between professions (Allah's servant, a daughter, a dentist, a wife, a daie etc etc) but hey, everyone went through that.

My husband gave me homeworks. And one of them is to update this blog. So task completed, dear husband! Till the next post :) --->isteri yang taat bukan?kwis kwis kwis
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Haruslah tidak elok tulis belog hanya untuk update berita diri sendiri kan? Mari menjadi dewasa dengan mengupdate isu semasa.

Latest one, isu kenaikan harga. Saya sejujurnya belum merasa sangatlah kenaikan harga ni sebab saya jenis orang yang spend tak tengok harga. Bila check balance dalam bank, eh dah tinggal sikit tapi still within budget so saya pun macam tenang je. Just bought a car yang tak sampai-sampai lagi ni. mungkin bila dah bawak kereta sendiri, beban itu akan terasa. Mungkin nanti dah beranak pinak beban itu akan lebih terasa. So basically i have no comment. Tapi dalam KT ni saya rasa ridiculouslah harga rumah sewa, harga tanah dan harga barang dapur. Ikang adalah sangat mahal kat sini walaupun ini adalah negeri yang makanan rujinya ialah ikang.

Walaubagaimanapun, sebagai persediaan menghadapi musim kenaikan harga barang, marilah belajar berbelanja dengan jimat cermat. Mungkin saya bertuah mempunyai suami yang sangat otak finance kot. So nafsu berbelanja saya tu macam tidak serancak dahulu. Tengok barang macam malas-malas je nak beli. Nanti suami suruh tulis dalam buku perbelanjaan harian aka apps money manager (yang sebenarnya, nak catat tu yang malas hoheh)..bak kata mak saudara saya, kita kurangkan perbelanjaan untuk gaya hidup. Bezakan keperluan vs kemahuan. Utamakan saving dan investment. Investment pun bukan untuk dunia sahaja malahan investment untuk akhirat iaitu dengan bersedekah. Harta kita yang sebenarnya ialah harta yang disedekahkan, kan? kan? kan?

Dan kepada yang bakal melangsungkan perkahwinan tu, silalah berjaga-jaga dalam berbelanja. Please do not end up dengan hutang keliling pinggang. Hidup baru nak bermula, maka mulakannya dengan zero hutang. Alhamdulillah saya melangsungkan perkahwinan tanpa hutang. Saya mula kerja bulan 4. Kahwin bulan 11. So saya hanya guna gaji 7 bulan yang sempat saya simpan bersama dengan dana tambahan daripada keluarga. Total cost tak sampai 15,000. You want to know how? Ask me now! Ecehh bajet perunding kewanganlah pulak puan dhuha ni.

Formula dia senang je, 65% untuk venue dan makanan (wajib), 20% untuk hadiah (sunat), 15% untuk diri sendiri (harus)..So apa-apa perbelanjaan untuk kepuasan sendiri seperti fotografi, make-up, baju, pelamin semua tu mestilah dikurangkan  sebanyak yang boleh. Sebabnya, tujuan diadakan majlis perkahwinan ni bukan untuk diri sendiri tapi untuk orang lain. Maka usahlah syok sendiri. Doorgift pula simple-simple cukuplah. Yang penting isinya bukan bekas/dekorasinya. Sometimes people spent too much just on decorations padahal in the end semua tu nanti masuk bakul sampah juga. Same goes to kad jemputan. I asked my sister to design and print the cards for me. My cousin in-law did my make up and my second cousin became our photographer. My mom and my aunts did my hantaran. We packed the doorgifts together. Lepas tu on the wedding day, my friends did the photo booth corner (itu merupakan plan last minute yang sangat berjaya, thanks so much kawan-kawan!). I planned to do the pelamin by myself but obviously I did not have ample of time to do that as I am working in Terengganu. Baju kahwin pula hanya ada sepasang disebabkan majlis sebelah saya sehari je. Nikah dan kenduri on the same day. Baju nikah tu jugaklah baju walimah. Pada saya macam tak berbaloi nak sewa baju lain untuk walimah sebab nak sewanya beratuslah jugak tapi pakai tak sampai sehari pun huhuiii satu kerugian yang amat besar kurasakan. Now baju nikah saya tu bolehlah dipakai di hari raya aidilfitri nanti *provided that saya masih slim dan tidak mengandung di waktu itu* Untuk sebelah pihak lelaki pula, dapat baju sponsor daripada pakcik kepada encik suami, alhamdulillah. Saya juga teringin nak ada geng kompang tapi nak sewa geng kompang area rumah saya adalah mahal sungguh. Maka instead, guna audio kompang pun jadilah >_<

So kalau saya boleh jimat, anda boleh juga. Malah anda boleh jimat lebih banyak daripada saya kalau anda boleh bergotong royong buat pelamin sendiri atau tak buat pelamin langsung.

Majlis perkahwinan saya adalah hasil kerja keras semua orang yang terlibat. Disebabkan kerja keras mereka juga, saya dapat jimat dengan banyaknya dan hasilnya, saya kini sedang melalui alam rumahtangga tanpa beban hutang yang unnecessary (saya cakap camtu sebab saya baru je beli kereta secara hutang tapi i would call that hutang yang necessary eheh)..Dan yang paling penting sebenarnya ialah Allah akan memudahkan urusan hambaNya yang mahu mendirikan rumahtangga. Pasang niat yang lurus, berusaha, berdoa dan bertawakkal kepada Allah.

hmm rasa nak tulis-tulis lagi tapi next post lah. nanti abundant dan comot sangat semua topik sumbat dalam satu posting kan? kan? kan?

Nah, satu je gambar kahwin :p
venue: kampung encik suami di chinchin, melaka





Sunday, June 9, 2013

First posting

Assalamualaikum wbt

Today I would like to share my experience in my first posting. (Forgive me this is going to be wordy no photos at all)

Basically, as a first year dental officer or known as FYDO, you'll be posted in different specialities. The duration n specialty might differ according to the state you are posted to.

Here in terengganu, all specialties are available and located at kuala terengganu whether in general hospital or somewhere just nearby it. Below is the list of postings you will get in terengganu.

1. Oral surgery, oral medicine and oral pathology (4 months in GH)

2. Community dentistry (4 months in the given district u r posted to)

3. Paediatric dentistry (1 month in GH)

4. Orthodontic (1 month in Klinik Pergigian Jalan Sultan Mahmud (KPJSM) located inside GH)

5. Periodontic (1 month in KPJSM)

6. Restorative dentistry (1 month in KP Bukit Payong)

Ok that's all I can tell and it is subjected to change.

My first posting was in paeds dept. And I'll only be posted to district clinic/hosp at the end of my FYDOship.

Before I entered dentistry, I had the ambition to become a specialist in paeds because I thought I love kids. That happened to be just my delusion. I found kids were very difficult to handle and I just hate their tantrums and childish manners (come on la dhuha, they are children after all)

Therefore I stopped dreaming of becoming a children specialist. I didnt hv any passion in dentistry and so I felt demotivated to specialise in anything. I thought I'd just become a general dentist or perhaps join admin department and just do the admin stuff.

Endodontic? I love endo but I cant stay too long by the dental chair just looking at small root orifice. I remember during my final year of dentistry I did root canal treatment (RCT) almost every week and I had a really sore back for months. My ergonomics is really bad when it comes to RCT.

Surgery? I love surgery but standing too long gave me backache too. Plus too much to study hoheh. And a busy department. Does not suit a gastric and low blood pressure patient like me.

Public health? Would love too. I can get involve in policy making and manage things at national level. However studying public health is a painful experience. Boring and dry subjects.

Those are the 3 specialties I would consider. But now paeds has entered the list. My paeds posting was a wonderful experience. Alhamdulillah Allah sent me to terengganu and placed me in paeds as my first rotation. At first I was like "oh no!!!! Why paeds???" But after day 1  i began to love not only paeds but dentistry as a whole.

While in paeds, I learned a lot on how to manage children. Was difficult at first but slowly it became a tropical breeze under a sunny day by the crystal blue beach (sorry hyperbola di situ) The staff are very wonderful and helpful too. Specialist is super nice. Permanent officers are super nice. Dental surgeon assistants are also super nice. We are all like 1 family and I just love being with them and working with them as one team until it hurts me to finally leave the dept and move to the other dept. I would love to come back and work there if given a chance.

I thank Allah for surrounding me with positive working environment and inspiring people that influence my positive attitude towards my working life. I really like it here but i constantly remind myself that things wont always go as smooth as this. Someday I'll go through bumpy and windy roads. Just keep that in my mind.

I like working in paeds because its not too busy and not too relax. Just nice. Besides I love working in hospital setting. I love ward rounds and I also love surgery. In paeds, surgery is done once a week with maximum of 3 patients for each surgery day. Heaven and not too painful aye? Ward rounds on the other hand depend on how many pts were admitted to ward including emergency cases. So being a pedodontist makes you feel more doctorish. Huihui..

Other than that you got to do other dental stuff like fillings, tooth extraction, root canal treatment etc. But just for patients aged 17 years and below. Small working area because children are small obviously. Their mouth just fit nicely with my little fingers. I found children are quite comfortable with me since I'm small and cute just like them (perasan sebentar)..but its true. Adults often make fun of my petite size by saying I wont be able to pull their teeth out. Its partially true. I can pull their teeth out but they have to bear with me for 15-30 minutes for 1 single tooth. Then i'll have sore arm the whole day. Therefore just let me treat children. Pulling out children's teeth is just like petik kacang di kebun sayur opah.

Working hours are just like office hour n quite flexible. Study period for specialization is between 3-4 years. Scope of study quite big but I like that because  then I will not become easily bored just to study on one specific specialty. In conclusion I would seriously consider to master in paeds and I am. Cant wait to sit for pre-master exam or whatever they called it.

somebody who used to hate dentistry;
Dr. Dhuha
XOXO

P/s whoever prayed for my enjoyable working experience, thank u so much. Only Allah can reward u :)

Thursday, May 30, 2013

shoes



yesterday i took some time to look at my shoes
and my thought goes beyond just the physical look of the shoes
ever heard of "try putting yourself in her shoes"?
or something like "walk a mile in her shoes"?

i wondered why shoes?
to feel what others feel, must we walk in her shoes?
why not a dress or a pair of pants perhaps?
or cant we just walk in our shoes
which have the same size, shape and brand with the others?

then i walked with my shoes on
walked as far as i want to
i walked on the road, on the grass, on the tiles
i went up the stairs, down the stairs and took an elevator

today i change my shoes
it is quite a new pair of shoes
i do what i did the day before
and it definitely feels different

now i understand
shoes are not just for display
its not just the matter of wearing them
but to walk in them

that is why we must put ourselves in other's shoes
for us to understand others
and to feel what it is like to be them

shoes came from different materials
made by different ways
they can be factory made or hand made
they came with different size and shape
and different care instructions

shoes meant a lot to people
they protect the feet
they can affect your posture
a whole day walking in a wrong pair of shoes
can make you suffer until a few days after
old shoes wont feel as comfortable as a new ones
but old shoes wont give the same excitement as new shoes

to people
the shoes they are walking in
have different stories
give different feelings
and bring different meaning

Even we wear the same size of shoes
the feeling is different
Scholl size 4 wont be as same as Vincci size 4
and Vincci size 4 wont be as same as Vincci size 8

dhuha
east coast malaysia
29/5/13
22:46

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

[rebel mode: on]


buka FB, so much negative aura. benci kaum lain, benci kaum sendiri, benci parti lain, benci kerajaan, benci pembangkang, benci SPR, itu tak kena ini tak kena, so many complaints. i cannot take it anymore, i decided to run. sebelum saya terkena virus benci, i better equip myself with love and compassion. sebelum saya menjadi manusia yang gemar menyalahkan, i better make myself better. it is true internet gives you more freedom to seek information but too much info will just make you confuse and PLUS too much berita-berita berbaur fitnah dan tidak pasti kesahihan cerita. even pictures and videos can tell lies nowadays. maka seperti pemuda al-kahfi, i am going to run to my cave.

i want to live in real word
and set myself free from any negativity
i am going to my cave
and doing my own sweet thing

i will be back
with more positivity
and i'll make it contagious
i hate hatred
and i just want spread love
and for that,
i need my own time

may Allah fill my heart with love and compassion
may Allah give peace in my mind
may Allah surround me with positive people
may Allah assist me towards positive changes
may Allah bless me and grant me His jannah

ameen ya rabb.